Mutant Power
If I were a mutant, what would I do?
Its a question that goes through most peoples minds when watching or hearing about anything to do with X-Men. This brillaint Marvel Comic that has been so excellently brought to life and displayed on our big screens, it starts the strangest of thoughts in my head, thoughts that have kept me awake on many occasions, thoughts that, I'm sure shouldn't enter and normal guys mind when trying to sleep: If I had a mutant power, what would it be? Would I be good? Would I be evil? Would I tell anyone about my powers?
DECIDE YOUR POWER
These are all questions that need answering, but before you can answer any of them, you need to know what power you are going to have! This is a question that has been spinning round and round in my head so fast that I'm starting to think that is my mutant power, thinking fast, insane, crazy thoughts.....buts it not! Let me take you through abit of the processThe power to WHAT??????
I've had this dicussion with many people but the funniest prize has to go to a man/boy that has been a great source of comedy material for me for the past few years, he shall remain unnamed. On asking the question of "If you could have a mutant power, what would it be?" His answer was this, and I'm not shitting you. He thought for about 1 second, looked at me and said, with a straight face "I'd like to control peoples bowel movements!" and then nodded his head at me as if that was that!
Brilliant! This guy had either thought about this for sometime awhile ago, or in the second it took him, on the spot, to come up with his answer he'd managed to weigh up the pro's and cons of many differnet mutant powers and decided that this one was the best. Maybe he's a mutant, maybe thats his power? to think fast?.......No acutally, not him, not the sharpest knife in the draw.......but then maybe thats his power, I think he's stupid but he's not, he's slowly melting my mind with his quick thinking!
ANYWAY!
Anaaanddd..your back in the room Jon. So my mutant power; Those of you that know me will know that I'm a big guy with a big personality, so I'm going to stick to the unofficial hollywood rule of "The power you have matches you." This rule takes little explaining. Basically, if you take for example Professor X from the X-Men series, if his power had been to run fast, that would have been pointless! He needed a power where he could be sat down to do it.....which brings up another point, if he's so good with controlling minds, why can't he control his to mend his legs? but thats another blog.
There are of course your generic powers for mutants: creating fire, ice, wind, being able to run fast, climb walls be strong, not breathe, the list goes on. But i wanted a cool power one that would make people notice me when I walked into a room.
BEHOLD......me
As you have probably noticed, I havent actually decided what my power would be, but I have narrowed it down to two!
The First: Pure Power! the ability to pick up anything, move, push, pull etc absolutley anything! It a power thats hardly ever seen or heard bout, when its used for good! Its always the evil ones who have this power and thats probably why no one ever wants to be the power guy......unless you're in the fantastic 4, and then you're ugly anyway, so who wants that power. I'd want to be good looking, as good looking as I am now anyway, and with a mutant power like that, I'd BE good looking, the money I'd make would be unbelievable. Sponsership would be amazing, I dont know what I'd sponser, maybe demolishtion balls or something, or I'd BECOME a demolishtion ball, I could take buildings out no problem, as long as it didnt interfer with my crime fighting, or I could incorporate the two together. BRILLIANT! I crime fighting demolishtion ball, THE BALL OF JUSTICE! Excellent, I can see it now!
THE BALL OF JUSTICE
I was going to tell you about my second mutatn power, but having read, re-read and re-read again, I've decided THE BALL OF JUSTICE it is!No matter what the problem would be there will/would always be a need for pure brute power, and thats what I'd be. There would of course be the awkward moments of me getting used to my power, but again in good hollywood tradition I'd get over it. I can see it now, probably in a bar somewhere, I cant pick up my glass with out breaking it, or I get into a bar fight and beat the "hard man" to a bloody pulp and then everyone backs away from me, even my friends and call me a freak. I'd wonder the streets for awhile, get things thrown at me by some kids with an open top car, then I'd go back to my apartment and break my bed as I sat on it or something.
The next morning I'd wake up with a half empty bottle of booze next to me (good booze, I'm no anti-freeze drinker), my phone would ring and someone would just say "put on channel 6". It'd be a news story, a problem that only I could help with. <snip>Long scene of me struggling to save the world<snip>. After that everyone would want to be friends with me, and my life would go back to normal as though nothing was ever wrong. In the sequel I'd turn on people that helped me, but thats a whole other story. So there you have it, my Mutant power and the story that I've not thought to much about, just written a whole two (maybe three) films about it, and my reasons why I chose that power, "THE BALL OF JUSTICE: ROLLING THROUGH CRIME"(that'd be film two's title). There will be more on this, as you probably guessed, so keep a lookout.